Are You Minimizing?
Do you feel like every week is met with the same aches and pains. Starting with the goal of having more down time and then finishing up, looking just like the week before. Busy, stressed, unenjoyable. What is this pattern that seems so hard to break?
I have noticed, in my life, the common theme that was creating chaos was the minimization of time and energy that things actually took. Having many different roles I found it hard to balance. How do I get everything done and be the mom I want to be as well as the wife I want to be...on and on and on? I saw my life start to take off and felt like I was a robot going through the motions with my adrenals on high and my Hashimotos angered, attacking my thyroid. I felt like this pattern was a similar pattern for me pre and post kids. I was very good at creating work and getting things done but was not so good at being able to sustain and live with enjoyment.
The first step to my change was noticing that I was not feeling well in this schedule and that something had to give. Then I took time to connect with myself knowing and understanding my temperament and values . I gave myself permission to daydream about what a perfect day would look like, feel like, smell like, etc. I wrote it down in first person present tense so I could read it back to myself and really feel into it, creating a picture and actually walking through that day as if it was true. It felt free, loving, accomplished, relaxed and appreciated, it was exactly how I wanted to experience my days! I asked myself what do I need to change to live that life right now and still move forward in progress. My conclusion was that it’s ok to not to do it all right now. As a mom we are asked a lot and if we have businesses or other commitments we are still asked a lot. Life doesn't stop, for us to raise kids. It's usually up to the mom to create flow in the family and make sure things are working in harmony. This starts with having harmony within ourselves. We are blessed with the natural ability to look at things as a whole. I had to create a firmer boundary with myself, kids and work so I could excel and show up better in all parts of my life. I started by getting someone to help with the kids so I could focus on work when it’s work time. Then I promised to shut off work when the kids got home. This led to a way more enjoyable time for both of us. I was able to get work done and cleaned up, so that I could be fully present and excited to be with kids. I also had to put a cap on my work and made sure I only took on what I could handle in that allotted time. This is so not what we are taught in modern day. We are taught to WORK, WORK, WORK, the more you work, the more money you make, then the more money you make the better it's supposed to be! I get that to a point but I'm more interested in being healthy and well because I know that at the end of the day we are our greatest tools for our work and without health we cannot do anything. If this sounds far away for you just take the first step. I know it's possible, it just takes awareness and courage. These choices ripple into the health of our kids and spouses, businesses, sports, etc. Set a budget that you can afford while working in your new schedule. I work better without pressure, and am sure many do, so take the pressure off or let something go. Find a routine that keeps the things up that you want to keep up and then ask for help from your family or loved ones. Leave more time for life to happen. Let's get real! things come up, we get sick, we get injured, the kids need more attention.. on and on. Therefore leave time so this isn't such a pain in the ass when it happens.
We are not in control of everything in our lives but we are in control of our schedules, our presence and what we take on. Once we know who we are and what we are wanting to experience in this life then the next and most important tool to make it happen, is our schedule. A little at a time consistently everyday. That is when change happens without burnout. I am grateful and always working towards being whole and in more flow with myself and others. Be patient with yourself and enjoy the process of creating a life that you can enjoy and be healthy in mind, body and spirit. I hope this helps you look at your schedule in a different way, then you have before and to notice what parts of your life you are minimizing. Have fun and reach out if you need support in this.